Here are some thoughts.
Previous
Previous
Here are some thoughts.
There’s no right time for this so I’ll just come out with it. Guy Fieri looks like a combination of every member of the band Smash Mouth. pic.twitter.com/ZUNpGDkHwc
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) April 19, 2021
If you ever need a good name for a law firm, hit up the paint section at Home Depot pic.twitter.com/H7yA4oSN9t
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) July 8, 2021
The Swiss are always neutral. Their military is so bored that their army knife contains a nail file.
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) March 5, 2020
Half of adulthood is pretending to not be out of breath while walking up stairs in public
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) August 23, 2019
If you lay on your car horn for 3 or more seconds, it’s about more than just what’s happening on the road
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) November 6, 2018
#1 pencils really shit the bed huh?
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) October 1, 2019
Car commercial: this car has 120 horsepower
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) October 21, 2018
Horses: weird flex but ok
I was feeling fine about myself today until my personal food delivery order came with three forks
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) January 15, 2019
Ironic that hindsight is 20/20 when it’s the one year no one is going to want to look back on
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) November 30, 2020
So funny when unhealthy foods try to advertise health benefits, when there’s an overwhelming number of negative aspects. Just saw a commercial where Hot Pockets were bragging about protein. Promoting a Hot Pocket for the protein would be like promoting a coma for the rest.
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) July 9, 2020
*Staring at a television while my phone charges in the other room*
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) August 1, 2021
“Gosh it’s so nice to have a break from technology”
Me after realizing that the word ‘disintegrated’ means that something is no longer integrated pic.twitter.com/C2ecn4H5wW
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) July 16, 2020
All this quarantining has caused me to watch far too much television. Netflix has always asked if I’m still watching, but now the “still” is capitalized.
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) December 15, 2020
Life hack: if you reheat all of your Chinese food together in a pan on the stove, it then becomes a stir fry and is, thus, healthier.
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) June 14, 2021
Just walked by an ad for a Korean dating site and I can’t believe they named it “KoreanCupid” and not “Seoulmates”
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) November 17, 2020
Roommate: I can’t believe the closest Starbucks to our apartment is 8 blocks away
— Tommy O'Regan (@tommy_oregan) February 21, 2019
Brain:
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Me: more like Farbucks.